Three Truths in Defining Your Truths

Season 1 - Episode 2

Three Truths in Defining Your Truths:
Today we’re going to talk about definitions and how they define you.

I want to start off with how things are defined in your heart. You know that’s what really matters. Not in your head but in your heart. Though both are always in play.

You’re living by decisions you don’t even know you’ve made. They call it decision by indecision. And that’s what we’re talking about.

There are two major theories to talk about. One is called “free will” and the other is “predestination”.

Free will is exactly what it sounds like. When you arrive on Earth you get to do whatever you want. While predestination says, everything has already been determined.

There are steps in between. Places you can draw lines and have discussions about, but that’s not what we’re doing.

My point today is about what you believe and what you think.

Are there are parts of your life that are predestined and parts of your life that are free will? Have you thought about it? Well, whether you like it or not, you’re acting in one way, or in a combination of ways, based on how you think, feel, and believe about this.

So step one in the 3 truths of the defining your life is realizing you have definitions in your heart and mind. You have to make a decision to find out where you stand on those definitions.

The second thing we’re going to talk about today is the definition of truth. Now, everybody’s heard this word and most know what it means at some level.

But, we’re going to start here to identify the definitions of truth so that you can take the next step and build upon that house. Make sure that your foundation is Rock Solid in truth, because we can have trust in a good relationship if you don’t have the same definitions of truth.

We cannot lead the right way. If we do not have this rock solid foundation in truth.

So, like all good researchers, I got on in Wikipedia. They say pretty much the same thing. Truth it says, “…is the actual state of matter”. Well it says, “…the trial or actual state of matter” on The second thing it says, “is conformity with fact or reality”. The third, is a “…verified or indisputable fact”. The fourth, is “…the state or character of being true”. And, the fifth, is “…actuality or actual existence”.

I’m going back to definition number two. Conformity with fact or reality.

Now the interesting thing that I find here is, that in fact our reality is never so simple when we’re dealing with people, because everybody has their own perspectives. Everybody has a thought on how they see the world.

That is a spot where we seem to get all mixed up in our communication with others. It’s on reality.

Next I want to go to Wikipedia on truth.   Wikipedia comes up with pretty much the same thing. It says here,  “…truth is most often used to mean being in accordance with fact or reality”.

The common understood opposite of truths is falsehood. Now, we know that the concept of truth is discussed in philosophy, religion, science, and the law. Those are the things that are the basis of all of our human activity. The concept of truth for human activity is how we can have a civil life.

But truth is typically parlayed in what we call, “language”. Words are the means by which humans convey information to one another. In the interpretation of these words we will define what is true or the criteria of truth. The criteria truth and the theories of truth go pretty deep, but truth is the foundation.

The truth is always based on your reality. Your truth is based on your reality.

That’s what we’ve found and it’s in everyday life. How you see it. So, if it’s based on reality, and everybody has their own set of rose colored glasses, then everybody’s truth can be different.

How do you bridge the gap between rose colored glasses? That’s the first question.

The second question is, if everybody has rose colored glasses in their communication their words, their body language, in content and conditions what is truth? It’s an imperfect science.

Not only is it an imperfect science, but we don’t have time, or want to put in the effort, to discussed every single piece of information from every single sales presentation, or discussion, or meeting with our children, our spouse, our associates, or even, our clients. It’s hard enough to live life daily with all the stuff you have to go through. Let alone wanting to repeat every single moment.

But if you put that bend on reality, the rose colored glasses, you can see how it all gets askew. How do you make sure that the big gray line, that massive gray line, between perception and disclosure becomes truthful. That you can turn that truth into trust. It is critically important how you view that and how you go about where you draw those lines.

The third truth that we’re going to talk about today is the truth in the definition of sales.

We talk a little bit about this in the pilot, but this is really important. As we mentioned earlier, sales is everywhere, whether you like it or not. You’ve tried to sell to your children, your spouse, or your associates. So, you are doing this all the time.

In 1985, when I started as a salesman, I really did not want to be in sales. I didn’t like being in it. I felt like I was better than that. It was degrading at some level and I didn’t get the respect I wanted or deserved.

After about a year and a half of constant rejection, I realized that every sales person employs other people. I ran across an article or statistic, that said that at one point, every sales person supports 27 other jobs.

So, I came up with a saying to make myself feel better about what I did. It goes like, “If somebody doesn’t sell something, everybody else can go home”.

As we discussed in the pilot, your definition of sales is critical. Everybody uses it, everybody needs it, everybody is doing it, whether you want to call yourself a salesman or not ~ and most people don’t want to call themselves one because being in sales is distasteful. The definition in how you think of salespeople, because most people think of sales as somebody being pushy, somebody lying, cheating, and manipulating people.

I can tell you two things, that I know for sure, at the low end that’s probably true. And by the low end I mean the low end of the personal scale, not the dollar volume. But on the high end it is not really true. You really want to get things done. You really want to help other people. They don’t do that. If you want to do sales, and you want to lead your group, you wanna own your own business, it has nothing to do with being pushy. It has nothing to do with being manipulative.

And, that’s where we are going. Truth in sales. It is very similar to leadership. Leadership is about helping others. Influencing others to fulfill their dreams, while you fulfill yours.

There is a company called, Calltronik. It’s a research company and data analysis company.  They did this study with 9,057 people. That is 9 times or 900% more than the average Gallop poll does for politics. Gallop polls come pretty close. Typically only 2-4% off the mark. Calltronik has 9 times that many people doing that study. The main question that they asked was pretty simple, “What do you do at work?”. This is the answer they got from those 9,057 people,  that on average 40% of everybody’s time is spent with some sort of  sales. Meaning persuading and influencing. Of course, there were varying amounts of time each person spent in a sales capacity. But, at 40%, that is 24 minutes of every hour persuading and influencing. Sales. If that is true than everyone needs it.

You have to change your definition of sales. Sales is not pushy, it’s not manipulative. Sales is helping others get what they want, while you get what you want. While doing it for the right reasons.

Hopefully, if your heart is right, then your definition of sales comes very close to what we just talked about and what we did in the last podcast. Definition of sales has nothing to do with selfish ambition or conceit. You’re not out there just trying to get money, but to give something.

Sometimes it’s just advice, maybe a smile, maybe a positive attitude, or maybe empathy. Take a moment to be there. See what you can do to help them and then they see if they can help you.

Also, you’ve got to think of others better than yourself. You’ve got to go in and not care who you talk to. Whether it’s the lowliest person on the totem pole, the one sweeping the streets, cleaning the bathrooms, all the way up to the top executives. You can always go in with humility and that’s the key.

It would be like going into a wedding and sitting at the high table. You don’t want to do that unless you are placed there. You want to sit with the crowd. If you’re supposed to be at the high table, they’ll put you there. It’s the very same thing.

We’re not talking about false humility, we’re talking about real humility. Where you’re honoring other people, where you’re looking for the best in others. The guy sweeping the floors, the receptionists, and the people cleaning the bathrooms. You’re talking to them and interested in their life.

Because that’s who you are!

The next part is looking for the interest of others and yourself equally. If you just look for the interest in others, you’ll never sell or lead anybody to anything. That’s not how this works. It has to be both. You have to be able to sow & reap.

Once you get past the niceties, you have to find people that qualify for your product or service. As a leader, you’re looking for people that would follow your vision. As a relationship, you’re looking for people that have the same values of truth.

You’re looking for people that you can help and that can also help you. If they’re not that, you shake the sand off of your shoes and keep moving.

There’s two things you must do before you shake the sand off your shoes and keep moving. You have to qualify, but even more importantly, you have to disqualify. In sales you disqualify a lot more than you qualify, because if you’re trying to force somebody, manipulate, and push somebody into buying your product, that’s not good for either of you. It’s not good for your moral status is definitely not good for the person that can’t use your product.

That is one of the keys to prospecting: How you define it. What’s your perspective on the new business? It’s about qualifying the right people and disqualifying those that don’t fit. Because, you don’t want to waste your time and theirs with a product or service that they have no desire or need.

You can be kind, you can be courteous, you can be helpful, and then you have to move on. You had to shake the sand from your sandals and keep moving. You have to rightly divide that opportunity and decide whether you stay or go.

Next time we’re going to talk about the definition of sales through truth. And, how truth really works. The combination of the gray line with disclosure and reality and the rose colored glasses.

Until then, I’d like to end with an old sales saying, I believe that Zig Ziglgar used to say this, “ No one cares how much you know till they know how much you care”.

Until then remember that trust starts with truth

Doug Soltis has worked in sales and marketing for over 30 years with a vision of revolutionizing the sales industry through Rock Solid Selling. He refined his skill-set while working for companies like 3M, Northwestern Mutual, and Mead, where he underwent some of the best sales and marketing training available.

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