3 Ways To Be Self-Centered

Season 1 Episode 12

You might be thinking, “What, this can’t be good”… Many think self-centered is a four letter word and the worst of things to be. 

I’ve struggled with these 12 letters my whole life. As a young student athlete I always had these goals I had to maintain. The biggest compliment my dad ever gave me was when he told me that he never had to tell me to get up and get ready for school or practice and that I was just always ready to go. But some people didn’t see it or me like that. They instead saw this behaviour as self-centered and selfish.

In looking back it was probably both. I didn’t know how to draw those lines. There was truth in these perceptions. As I got older and grew up I had more things pulling for my time. Same as everyone. Job, family, church, exercise, etc. There just wasn’t enough time in the day. Knowing that being self-centered was a problem for me I was always having to analyze my motives. Why was I doing this or that. Where do we draw the line with all these things to do?

I didn’t have the answers so I began reading. After reading many books on the subject and thinking about it for years, I finally came up with what I believe works. It works for me and I think it can work for you. It is okay to be self-centered. It is allowed. In what I call The Basic Human Goodness’s: The basic human needs.


Take care of your body = You only have one.

You must keep it healthy.

Exercising is, of course, very important. As an example, I recently found that I was sitting way to much for my health so I bought a stand up desk. On top of it being a standing desk I put rollers on the bottom so that I could work on my balance and posture while I work.

Pay attention to your diet. Don’t let your taste buds rule your  diet.

I;ve had some serious physical challenges lately (I’ll highlight those more next season) and I wasn’t able to exercise very much. Very detrimental, especially to my stress levels. On the other hand, I believe that my stress levels contributed to my health scares. I relieve my stress with exercise. It’s been proven to work to help keep the body healthy and stress levels lower.

There is also mediation and prayer. Both mediation and prayer along with exercise and diet will go along way to keeping your vessel as healthy as possible. In this be “selfish”. Everything is a balance. To do this one make sure your priorities are right. Keep the balance ~ not too much and not too little.


Renew your mind.

Take time on a regular basis to renew your mind. You must do this everyday. You need to keep on your mind the things that are true, noble, pure and just. Anything worth praising should be thought about and mindfully kept every day.

The world can be a very cruel and dark place. Remembering and thinking about the good and virtuous will help to keep a healthy and clear mental state. This can be done through quiet time, reading, thinking, and putting the good stuff inside. It is the good stuff that will ultimately outweigh the bad stuff. If you are out there in the world it is very difficult to fight the harshness so you have to be in the world but not of the world.

You must always look for the good and the lesson out of each situation. How can that lesson help you in the future? You must take the mental time to think about it and learn from it for the future.


Mediate and commune and pray.

Your quiet time. Finding the time to listen to the small voice inside of you. Inside of each of us. We must look for and pray for the truth. This is where I started my spiritual quest to finding what I wanted and what was best for me. What I believe is right and true. I have done many different things with this. I even did an event when I was in a room with other and we were holding a rock. I was being told to think about how the rock was weighing. Was it heavier or lighter? Did it feel hot or cold? I didn’t see any truth in that so I moved on.

But each of us has to find where our spirituality is. Where our truth is. Truth is the floor of your life. I am not talking about trust. That is secondary. You will get trust with people IF you know your truth. That is the concrete.

Can you take the time in your life, stop and slow down enough to do these things? These are the only ways to really find your truth. Can you hear your own heartbeat? Can you stop and listen to yourself?

In my 20’s  I went and saw a psychologist named, Dr. Messina to try and sell him some insurance. His receptionist told me that he was a counselor and a psychologist. I was told I would have to call either two or three minutes before or after the hour for him to be able to talk to me. I did sell him some insurance, but I also told him I needed him.

I spent a year with him and another year and a half in group counseling that he led. I learned lots of great things about myself. Learning these important things about myself allowed me to be on my pathway to truth. One of the things he said to me that stuck with my forever was that I needed to spend time alone.

In my mid 20’s and I’d never done that. As we were talking about it he said he thought he knew why I didn’t like being alone. I asked him to tell me. He told me that maybe I just didn’t like the company.

The way I see it, to live a life of significance with character and commitment, you must ground yourself. These three ways will do that for you. You must make sure that you are good at the basic human level. This is essential in order to be great for others. To have a rock solid life.

Doug Soltis has worked in sales and marketing for over 30 years with a vision of revolutionizing the sales industry through Rock Solid Selling. He refined his skill-set while working for companies like 3M, Northwestern Mutual, and Mead, where he underwent some of the best sales and marketing training available.

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